individualism made compromise impossible

my friend & we're discussing individualism in america at dinner cuz we saw so many ppl eating alone. & it got me thinking that individualism esp the rabid american strain reshapes structural environments in ways most ppl drastically underestimate.

the obvious symptom is selfishness which is me, me, me. individual goals displace shared ones. but most things that matter can't be done alone. a man can't have a child. partnership is required, & partnership requires deal making.

& deal making gets harder the longer you've been operating alone. you build a foundational layer w/ prefs, habits, non negotiables & it becomes very rigid. by the time you'd need to adapt, you can't. ironically this foundation becomes a kind of a cage instead of a platform.

you see the output everywhere now. women don't want a relationship unless it's the best thing in the world… & not cuz they're shallow, but because highly individualistic people don't need, they only want. & wanting, unlike need, has no natural ceiling. it can't really be satisfied, only deferred.

in essence sustained individualism makes ppl structurally incapable of the compromises that used to produce the lives they still claim to want.